You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
