I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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