So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
