So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
