I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
