Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
