You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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