That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
