You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
