Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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