WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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