his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
