Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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