I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Randomize
