You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize