well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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