We're facebook friends in real life
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I pour the whiskey from now on
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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