I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
