Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
