Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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