We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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