U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
