the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
