Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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