jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize