Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
