just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I wish i was in the wii world.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Semen is not good for contacts.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
