Need sex. Gaining weight.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
