my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
