He disabled his match.com account in front of me
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
