I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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