you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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