Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
