i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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