Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
the condom got lost in my hair
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I am one with the molecules
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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