if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
This is my gift to your gina
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
