I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
