i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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