Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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