the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
