The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
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