How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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