Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
