The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
