Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
