Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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