that's an acceptable place to lick
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
