Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
