You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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