Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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