Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
