I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
