I am puke
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize