Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
