And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
