There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
