I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize