don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
