I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize