The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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