yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
