i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
