i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
