and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize