I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
