oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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