thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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