he puts the penis in happiness.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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