i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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