First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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